I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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