thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
