those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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