you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
