Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
