her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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