Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
