I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out