I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it