Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?