my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
