me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
