i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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