he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize