I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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