hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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