Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
