Small penises have feelings too.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
