I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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