Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We're not piercing ourselves today.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
