Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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