What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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