ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
