there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
