im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
