It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
