i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I will be naked everywhere
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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