disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
