There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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