I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
