She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
