she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
