He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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