oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
