escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Sext me about skeletons
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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