I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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