Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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