Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
