I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Don't EVER smell your tampon
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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