Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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