Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
