marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
