im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
