Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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