I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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