best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
