Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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