roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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