is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
