Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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