what day is it and did you see me today?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize