I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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