almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
