have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
