Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
