I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
