he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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