And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
